Up in Flames
by AmberStella
Summary: What happens when our favorite twins discover fanfiction? How does the flame war end?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Just a little something I wrote to cheer myself up over Suite Life being almost finished. Inspired by Zack's line in "Shipnotized": "Hey listen, buddy, you'll never get a better candidate for Harvard. He's got a 5.0 grade point average. He's brilliant. He's written a novel, three cookbooks, an opera and all of my papers." **

**Well, what if that novel was a work of fanfiction….?**

**~La Tristesse~**

**P.S. The Suite Life characters belong exclusively to Disney. Sad, but true :-(**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Zack Martin breezed into the cabin his twin brother Cody shared with Woody Fink.

"Hey, Cody, did you ever write a paper on bananas?" he asked. "Not that I want to borrow it or anything. Just curious."

Cody sat at his spotless, cabin-sized desk, hunched over his laptop. He seemed completely engrossed by whatever was on the screen. This was not unusual for Cody, who had earned straight A's in every subject except since gym and woodshop since kindergarten.

"Cody? Hey, Codester?" Zack wouldn't stop until he had his brother's attention. Being younger than Zack by ten minutes, Cody was not allowed to ignore Zack.

But Zack got no response. Cody's eyes stayed glued to the screen, his lips moving silently as he read.

"Cody!" Zack yelled close to Cody's ear.

Cody jumped, almost falling out of his chair. "What do you want, Zack?" he grumbled, quickly recovering his composure. Every time Zack entered his and Woody's cabin, it was because he wanted something. Why, he cursed himself for the millionth time, had he let Zack keep that spare key-card he'd stolen from him?

As he awaited Zack's reply, he shielded the laptop screen with his arm – a move that only served to pique Zack's interest. Was Cody was trying to hide something from him? If so, Zack would make it his mission to ferret out his brother's secret.

Which in this case wouldn't be too difficult, since all he had to do was yank the laptop away from Cody.

"What's this?" he asked, yanking the laptop away from Cody.

Duck and run for cover, Cody told himself. "It's just my biology homework," he said, weakly. "On Tortonian stage developments in barnacle reproduction during the Miocene epoch."

"Oh, really?" Holding the laptop out of Cody's reach, Zack read aloud from the open Word document:

_Sean stood alone on deck, watching Tamira deep in conversation with Ashley, Cassidy and Denise. Moonlight glinted off of her hair, creating streaks of burnished copper in her soft caramel locks. He heaved a weary, wistful sigh, laden with despair. What would it take to open her eyes – her mesmerizing chestnut brown eyes? What could he do to transform this high school crush into ever-lasting love? _

_Would Tamira Goldstein ever be his?_

Zack broke off to gag. "Dude, what the frak _is_ this dreck?"

"Nothing..." Cody muttered, sweating from the burn of his cheeks.

_Ping._

The e-mail icon at the bottom-right hand of the screen began to blink. "Hmmm, what have we here?" Zack clicked on the icon. "Review Alert," he read from the e-mail:

_Amazingly awesome chapter! I love love LOVE this story! Sean and Tamira are SO PERFECT for each other. Can't WAIT to see what happens next! Please, please, PLEASE update soon!_

"Who's it from?" Cody asked, hope shining in his eyes.

Zack consulted the email. "Sugarlips69."

Cody's defeated sigh intrigued Zack further. He clicked on a link labeled "New Chapter: Dreams at Sunset." The link brought him to a webpage. " 'True Love on Deck', " he read. "A Breaker High fanfic, by The String Theorist." His eyebrows twisted in consternation, like a pair of corkscrews.

Cody flopped against the back of his chair. Denial would be useless. So would trying to reclaim his laptop with any sense of dignity. Zack had blasted through his barnacle reproduction cover, leaving him exposed to gale-force winds of humiliation.

"It's a fanfiction story," he admitted. "For a website called Fan Stories dot com. People write stories about their favorite TV shows, movies, books, video-games and post them there. Stuff they wish had happened in a TV episode, pairings they like that aren't part of the canon, alternative universes. Some of them are really creative." He gestured at the screen. "Go to the homepage and click on 'Just In'. "

Zack's response stunned him. Instead of launching into full-blown mockery, Zack, whose reading interests were limited to comic books and pranking websites, set the laptop back on the desk and complied.

"I wonder if there's any stories about _Medieval Magic Quest_," he said, excitedly. "Damn, I still miss my enchanted sorcerer wand."

A lengthy list of stories appeared on-screen.

Zack scanned the list. "Hey look, there's a story about twins." He clicked the link and leaned forward, his elbow on Cody's shoulder as they both began to read.

Halfway down the page, Cody's mouth froze into a horrified gape.

It took a few moments for Zack to catch up. When he did, his face broke out in an identical expression.

"Ewww," he exclaimed. "This story is about twins doing it. Dude, that's sick!"

Their eyes met in a shared moment of horror. Then they looked down. At Zack's elbow resting innocently on Cody's shoulder.

"Ewwwwww!" they shrieked, jumping apart. The chair clattered to the floor.

A few uncomfortable moments passed in the small cabin, which now seemed uncomfortably smaller.

_Ping._

Another review? Thankful for the distraction, Cody dove for the laptop, side-stepping the chair impressively.

Keeping a respectable distance, Zack read over his brother's shoulder:

_Best. Chapter. Ever. String Theorist, you are truly my hero. Your story brings joy to an otherwise empty, meaningless life. Promise me you'll never stop writing. _

_Btw, do you think you could add something about pirates? There's nothing sexier than a pirate. And I do mean nothing :-)_

The review was signed "Showgirl1980."

Seeing Cody's frown, Zack returned to the topic at hand. "So you're writing fanfiction about _Breaker High_?" He shook his head. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"It's a teen sitcom from the 90s," Cody explained, "about a group of students going to high school on a cruise ship. They travel around the world and have various adventures. Bailey's older sisters got her hooked on reruns."

Zack snatched the laptop from Cody and scrolled through a dropdown list of chapters. An incredulous look replaced his smirk. "This is eighty chapters long! How long have you been writing this?"

"Since Thursday," said Cody, his voice just above a mumble.

Zack checked the date on the laptop. "Since _last_ Thursday? It's only Tuesday today." He felt the proverbial lightbulb flash on above his head. "Wait a minute! This is about you and Bailey, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do. You're writing a sappy love story all about you and Bailey."

With the last remnants of his cover fluttering in the post-tornado breeze, Cody accepted his fate. "Okay, okay," he snapped, going crimson again. "It's part of my six-month plan to win Bailey."

Before he could continue, the laptop issued another ping.

_Great story! I missed out on half of a Mexican buffet last night getting caught up on the last 10 chapters. Time well spent. Write more soon.  
_

_Your number one fan,  
__Plywood_

"I think I know who that is," Zack remarked.

Cody nodded. "Woody loves fanfiction. _SpongeBob Square Pants, Teletubbies, Myth Busters_."

Zack raised an eyebrow, wearing a perplexed, slightly disturbed expression as though picturing their grandmother wrestling in Jello. He grimaced then and clicked to a page showing all the reviews for Cody's story. "And what does Bailey think of your epic soap opera?" he asked.

_Ping._

Zack opened the latest review, wondering if he'd find the answer:

_This story is a pleasure to read. You are a supremely talented writer, TST. If you haven't already, you should seriously consider writing fiction as a career. I await the next chapter with baited breath.  
_

"Just a wild guess here," he said, "but I'm betting 'AfroDisiac' isn't Bailey's pen name, is it?"

Cody shook his head in mournful agreement. "I don't get it," he burst out. "Bailey reads and reviews practically every _Breaker High_ story. But she's never reviewed a single chapter of 'True Love on Deck.' Not a single one. I just don't get it." Pouting, he pointed to a sentence on-screen. "I even named a character after her. See? One of the deck hands. A really, really pretty deck hand, too."

Zack had never considered himself a writer, or a literary expert of any sort, but he felt entitled to give Cody an explanation. "Simple," he said. "Your story is crap."

"It's not crap," Cody retorted, bristling with outrage. He grabbed for the laptop. " 'True Love on Deck' is the most popular story in the _Breaker High_ fandom. It has over nine-hundred-and-fifty reviews."

"Crap."

"It has Proustian subtext."

"Crap."

"And Foucauldian post-structural themes."

"Crap."

"Well, I wouldn't expect _you_ to understand those elements," Cody said, haughtily. He folded his arms.

It was time, Zack decided, to take the situation into his own hands. "Quit whining, you sound like a girl." He carried the laptop over to Cody's bed and sprawled across it. He clicked on 'Create account'. "Let your big brother show you how it's done."

Cody didn't like the sound of this. "You're not a captain," he protested, hovering as Zack hen-pecked at the keyboard. "And you're not, nor will you ever be, awesome."

"Like you would know anything about being awesome." Zack chuckled and kept typing, swinging his feet in the air. He had grown a thick skin to deflect Cody's nay-saying. "Now watch and learn, little brother, watch and learn."

**What will Captain Awesome write? Will it be awesome? More importantly, will his story capture Bailey's interest? And who are Cody's, aka The String Theorist, many reviewers? Stay tuned for Chapter 2... and please review! :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Here is Chapter 2 and the answers to questions raised in Chapter 1. ****The FF site doesn't support the "at" symbol, so I have used (a) instead.**

**~La Tristesse~**

**P.S. If I owned the Suite Life, there would be a fourth season of SLOD for sure. But sadly, I do not :-(**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Cody's jaw nearly fell off his face when he walked into the library the next afternoon.

There sat Zack at one of the tables, busily typing on his own laptop with two fingers, as seemingly lost in concentration as Cody had been when Zack barged into his cabin yesterday.

"Zack, you know about this place?" he asked, hardly able to believe his eyes. He had never seen Zack in the ship's library before, or any library for that matter.

Zack looked up at him and shrugged. "I just followed the smell of nerd."

Cody made a face but sat down. Normally he would have sought out Bailey, but he didn't see her among the various groups of students poring over laptops and textbooks under the stern-faced gaze of the librarian.

"Is that your story?" he asked when Zack continued to type. The return of Woody and an urgent AP physics homework assignment had cut short his participation in Zack's foray into fanfiction. Now he couldn't deny it – he was curious, even a little bit excited, to see his brother's story. But given that Zack had the attention span of a newborn fruit fly, he wouldn't have been surprised if Zack had already abandoned his writing project.

Zack nodded, focused intently on the screen. "Yeah, it's almost done."

"Let me see," Cody said, reaching for the laptop.

Zack slapped Cody's hand away. "You can wait to read it, just like everyone else."

A hurt look darkened Cody's eager expression. "Don't you want me to beta-read it for you?"

"Beta-what?"

"You know, edit it? Polish and shape it to bring out the greatness of your words, such as they are?"

"Thanks, but no thanks," Zack said, curtly. Why did Cody always assume he needed help? For once, he would show Cody that he could do something intellectual just as well as Cody – in fact, he could do it better. With a flourish of confidence, he typed "The End" and hit "Publish."

"Done," he announced. "Let the kudos begin."

"Shhhh," scolded the librarian from her post at the information desk.

Overcome with suspense, Cody pulled his laptop out of his book bag and booted up. Sure enough, a New Story alert awaited him in his inbox:

_Below Her Decks, a Breaker High fanfic by Captain Awesome._

"You wrote about _Breaker High_?" he asked. "Do you even know anything about the show?"

"I did a marathon on YouTube last night," Zack replied.

Pause. Cody regarded him skeptically.

"Okay, I watched a couple of episodes."

Cody's skeptical look deepened.

"Okay, I watched the opening credits, but I think I got the gist of it. Anyway, the show seems oddly familiar."

Rolling his eyes, Cody clicked the story link and began to read, his brain automatically correcting spelling and grammar errors, as it had a habit of doing.

_The two young lovers moved closer together, proud of themselves for finding such an ingenious hiding place. _

"_You know what, Tamira," said Sean, looking into her lustful brown eyes. "You would look really hot wearing a life jacket. And nothing else."_

_Tamira blushed and giggled in her sexy schoolgirl way. "So would you, Sean. So would you."_

"This is smut," Cody gasped. "Tacky, unadulterated smut." His disgust intensified as he read on. "This is horrible, wretched, really bad... Sean and Tamira would never do this... And Tamira would definitely _not_ do that... This is absolutely terrible."

"Then why are you still reading it?" Zack asked, smugly.

"Um..." Pursing his lips, Cody groped his thoughts for an excuse. "Uh, well, it's is not like anyone else would read this depraved drivel," he said, finally.

_Ping._

"Oh, looky here." Zack shot a triumphant smirk at his brother. "I already have a review."

"What poor illiterate soul wasted precious moments of their life on your rubbish?"

Zack spun his laptop around to show Cody. "Well, well, well, look who it's from."

Cody's eyes zoomed to the screen.

_Hey Captain Awesome,_

_Welcome to the fandom. Love your story. That was an entertaining interpretation of Sean and Tamira's undeniable chemistry. I really hope you write more soon._

To his jaw-dropping disbelief, the review was signed "Cowgirl913."

"You'll get stretch marks around your mouth if you keep making that face." Zack said, enjoying his brother's incredulity.

"But Bailey wouldn't read that tawdry garbage," Cody protested. "She has much more refined tastes."

"Refined tastes, huh? That explains why she reads your story all the time... oh wait."

Shades of green colored Cody's vision. Jade. Olive. Spruce. He logged into his Fan Stories account and started to type:

_For a first attempt at fanfiction, that was utterly pathetic. Your characters are as two-dimensional as cardboard cut-outs. Not to mention, they're obscenely out of character. Do the depths of your depravity know no bounds? Furthermore, your spelling is atrocious, your tenses bounce around more than ping pong balls at a tournament, you punctuate like you're firing a machine gun, and don't even get me started on your sentence structure. Do yourself a favor and learn to write before you embarrass yourself any further._

Anger, mixed with jealousy, prompted him to press "Submit."

Zack would not have admitted it, but the words stung when they arrived in his inbox seconds later. He had expected more support from his twin brother. "I'll bet Ryan Goose would approve of how I portrayed Sean," he said, sullenly.

"It's Ryan Gosling," Cody hissed in defense of the Academy Award-nominated actor. "And no, he wouldn't."

The librarian stood up at her desk. "Shhhh," she ordered. "_Shhhhhh._"

"Sorry, sorry." Cody tightened his arms across his chest. Was this unwelcome turn of events a sign that he should abort his six-month plan? Should he look for a girl whose literary interests were more Faulkner than fanfiction, more Tolstoy than teen angst?

_Ping._

Both twins lunged for their respective laptops.

A reply had been posted – from Cowgirl913:

_That review was uncalled for, TST. How dare you insult a fellow author's creative work? That was Captain Awesome's very first story, and for your information, it had all the essential ingredients: a compelling premise, dramatic tension and a genuine climax._–

"Climax," snickered Zack.

–_Haven't you ever heard that less is more? Or are you too busy churning out chapter after chapter to pay attention to the finer points of story-telling?_

Cody's fingers moved furiously over the keyboard as he fired off a response:

_(a)Cowgirl913: Well, excuse me for having high technical standards. We don't all ascribe to the Hooked-on-Phonics philosophy of spelling. And excuse me for respecting characterization. At least my story isn't the product of sick and twisted fantasies. _

No sooner had he pressed "Submit" than another ping rang out. It echoed elsewhere in the library.

_Hurtful! For someone who writes romance, you sure can be a jerk, TST. I'm not going to read or review your story anymore.  
_

_Yours unsincerely,  
Plywood_

Yet another ping.

_Bravo, Captain Awesome. You have quite a flair for adult comedy. While _Breaker High_ is a teen program, a more mature slant makes for a refreshing change of pace. I look forward to your next endeavor.  
_–_AfroDisiac_

_Ping._

_Ping._

_Ping._

Throughout the library, heads bent over laptops, students typed feverishly and pings ricocheted, faster and faster, each one followed by a flurry of shocked gasps and whispered exclamations of "He went there," "Oh no, he didn't" and "I can't believe it."

Zack's review count climbed steadily as reviews and rebuttals zinged through the etherspace.

From Sugarlips69: _Screw those haters! You're really, REALLY awesome! I LOVED your story! Keep on writing!  
_

From AfroDisiac: _Disregard the haters, Captain Awesome. They're merely jealous of your considerable talents. I do hope you'll write more._

From Showgirl1980: _You suck, String Theorist. I'm with Plywood: no more reviews from me either :-(_

From TheWriteStuff: _Go back to particle physics, String Theorist. You can't write anyway. There, I said it!_

From Yay Me: _(a)TST - How RUDE!_

"I have thirty-five reviews," Zack chortled with glee. He had lost track of how many times he'd refreshed his screen. "That's more than any of your chapters got, Cody."

This earned him a glare that could have melted an iceberg.

_Ping._

The flame war reclaimed Cody's attention.

By now the ordinarily silent room sounded more like an arcade.

"Shhhhh," urged the frazzled librarian, scurrying from table to table. "Be quiet. _Please_."

A self-satisfied smirk settled on Zack's face. Hands folded behind his head, he leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on the table. His job here was done. Mockery and mayhem may not have been his goals when he wrote "Below Her Decks" but he would happily accept them.

SLSLSLSL

Across the ship, on every deck, from the brig to the crow's nest, laptops, cellphones and PDAs pinged, buzzed and blinked.

In her social studies class, Ms. Tutwieler had completely forgotten about the test she'd scheduled for that day. "_(a)TST_" she typed, squinting at her tiny cellphone screen, "_May pirates plunder your booty. And not in the fun way_."

On the Sky Deck, Kirby, aka Boat Cop, dropped his foot-long, super-deluxe sub stuffed with meatballs, mayonnaise and pickles in his haste to show support:

_(a)Captain Awesome: Don't let the haters get you down, buddy. I liked your story. I think you could be the next Alexandre Dumas._

On the putt-putt golf course, Captain Lunsford paused his game to send a reply on his BlackBerry:

_(a)TST: May your turgid tween fluff disappear into a Bermuda Triangle of literary indifference.  
__~The Awesome Captain_

SLSLSLSL

At the first wisp of smoke, the librarian knew something was gravely wrong.

She raced to the back of the library, to the room that housed the ship's server.

A terrifying sight halted her.

Smoke was billowing from the server tower in ominous grey plumes. If she didn't take action – immediately! – the whole ship would go up in flames.

Seized by fear and a sense of responsibility, she rushed forth and began ripping electrical cords from their sockets, one after another. Her panic increased. Where was the "off" button when she needed it?

On the other side of the wall, students heard a frightful zapping sound. Then–

_KA-BOOM._

A frenzy of complaints arose.

"Hey! What was that?"

"What the–? What happened to my e-mail?"

"My e-mail's not working, either!"

"The Internet's down! Oh no!"

"Noooooo!"

The door to the server room creaked wide, releasing a cloud of smoke, and out staggered the librarian. The explosion had knocked her glasses askew and fried her hair into blackened tufts.

Silence fell as the students stared at her. Cody felt a pang of guilt.

Zack, on the other hand, opened his mouth to snark, but the librarian froze him with a murderous look. "SHHHHHHH!" she hissed.

But he couldn't resist. "Say it, don't spray it."

That did it. The librarian felt her last fuse pop, much like the server just had. A stand had to be taken. A stand for something that mattered more than dignity, more than lack of Internet service. Far more than silly insults hurled at strangers. More, even, than saving a thousand lives from a fiery death at sea.

Eyes blazing, she marched over to Zack and pushed her face up to his so that her lips grazed his nostrils. Inflating her lungs, she uttered a resounding "_SHHHHHHHHH!_" with such force that his hair blew straight off his forehead.

"Shhhhh," she added, as an afterthought.

**It doesn't take much for the flames to be fanned and the innocent to be burned. Reviews welcome.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: This story was originally going to be a two-shot, but the reviews and favorites inspired me to keep writing. So here is the third and final chapter. Thanks, everyone! :-)**

**~La Tristesse~**

**P.S. Still don't own any Suite Life characters, but if Disney ever wants to give them away…**

* * *

**Chapter 3/Epilogue**

When Zack logged into his e-mail the next morning, he discovered two things: the ship's server was up and running again, and an avalanche of e-mail had filled his inbox. Over a thousand unread messages! He clicked to his Fan Stories account and was astonished see that "Below Her Decks" had attracted a mind-boggling six-hundred-and-twenty-five reviews. More than any chapter in the history of the Fan Stories site. And according to the traffic meter, he had readers from all over the world, including countries he had never heard of before – Andorra, Latvia, Mongolia, Whangamomona.

Not bad, he thought to himself as he lay on his bed, browsing reviews, flame replies and a medley of other accolades. Not bad at all for a guy who always got a D in English. Who knew what he could accomplish when he actually cared about something?

He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, contemplating his next move. A second chapter of "Below Her Decks"? A new fanfiction story? Wait, that wouldn't do – Zack fully intended to grow rich from his amazing ability to do stuff with words. An original story was the only way to go.

Inspiration sparked. He would write a novel that combined a broader range of personal interests...

_"You know what, Tamara," said Shane, looking into her lustful bloodshot eyes. "I want to eat brains with you. Skull-fulls of tasty oozing brains." _

_Tamara blushed and giggled in her hot undead way. "Me too, Shane. Me, too," she growled. "Brains are yummy." _

_The two zombies lunged for each other and made out until their jaws fell off._

Zack Martin, _New York Times_ Best-selling Author. It had an intriguing ring to it.

A knock at the door snapped Zack out of his creative reverie.

Cody stood there, holding a huge fluffy teddy bear. He wore a miserable look on his face. The bear wore a white t-shirt with "I'm Bear-y Sorry" printed on the front.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Cody said. Guilt had gnawed at him all night. It was no secret that Zack felt inferior to him academically. Shouldn't he have been happy for Zack? Proud of Zack for receiving so much positive attention for his story? It wasn't as though Bailey even knew Captain Awesome was really Zack. Heck, she didn't even know he, Cody, was The String Theorist.

Zack did a double take. "So you bought me a stuffed animal?" Since when did brothers buy each other stuffed animals?

"It's from the gift shop," Cody said in a slightly defensive tone.

"You haven't been reading that twincest crap, have you?"

"No!" Cody shook his head, disgust contorting his features. He shuddered just thinking about such a concept. "Look, I was a jerk and I'm sorry. Your story wasn't that bad. I was just jealous."

"What was that?"

"I was jealous."

Zack cupped a hand to his ear. "Didn't catch that."

"I WAS JEALOUS!"

"Okay then." Zack dropped the bear on his desk and held out his arms.

Cody stepped into them gratefully, blinking away a tear. In spite of having launched an international flame war against his brother, Cody hated fighting with Zack. Now all he wanted was for the flame war to be doused by the tide of new fanfiction stories and discussions that constantly flooded the Internet.

After an exchange of heartfelt back slaps, Cody spotted the laptop on Zack's bed.

"Is the Internet is back on?" he asked, anxiously.

"Yeah, just now."

Cody resisted the urge to dash over and check his review count for "True Love on Deck." The likelihood of diminishing reviews had plagued him ever since the flame war had ignited. Regardless of the adage that all publicity was good publicity, in this case, he feared, there probably was such a thing as bad publicity. With Zack's one story already getting more reviews than any chapter of "True Love on Deck" he could be in trouble. Nonetheless, he was determined to show support for Zack's new hobby, even it meant swallowing his own pride.

"So, um, are you going to keep writing your story?"

"Nah, I think I'll retire from _Breaker High_," said Zack. "I've already achieved as much as an author can."

When Cody looked at him uncomprehendingly, Zack decided he'd waited long enough to drop the bombshell. "I won a bunch of awards in the Breaker High Fanfic Awards."

"Awards?" Cody demanded, wild-eyed with confusion. "When?"

"Last night, while the ship's server was down," Zack replied. "They were announced, voted on and awarded."

"You...?"

Zack nodded and picked up the laptop. Counting on the fingers of his free hand, he recited, "Best Story, Best Author, Best Underlying Symbolism, Best Creative Vision, Best Teen Scene, Best Mature Scene–"

"Both?" Cody spluttered. "How could you win for both teen _and_ mature scene?"

"I don't know." Zack shrugged. "I also won Best Newcomer, Best One-shot and Best Series. And I got a Lifetime Achievement Award."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Shards of broken logic embedded themselves in Cody's brain. His head ached.

"Oh don't feel bad, bro," Zack said, sympathetically. "You were nominated, too."

"I was?" Cody felt hope spring eternal.

"And you won an award. You won Best Villain."

"Best Villain?" Cody's eyebrows shot up in alarm. "I don't have any villains in my story."

"No, um... _you_ won Best Villain," Zack clarified. "You, personally. By a landslide."

Cody jerked the laptop out of Zack's hand. "Gimme that." Zack had to be yanking his chain in typical Zack-like fashion.

Alas, the Breaker High Fanfic Awards webpage confirmed his sinking fears. Zack was the big winner, the hero, the golden boy of _Breaker High_ fandom, while Cody was last week's news, fit only for lining the bottom of a birdcage. Nay, he was the bird droppings that covered the lining.

"It's not fair," he wailed. "I put my whole heart and soul into 'True Love on Deck.' " He wanted to hurl the laptop across the cabin and burst into tears.

Zack patted Cody's shoulder. "At least it got nominated."

"Hey, guys, watcha doin'?"

Bailey Pickett had materialized in the doorway. Cowgirl913 was demurely dazzling in a flowery blue dress and navy capris, a wide yellow belt looped around her waist and cute black sneakers on her feet.

"Nothing," said Zack and Cody in unison. Cody slammed the laptop shut onto Zack's fingers, causing Zack to wince and shake his hand.

"Oh, h-hey B-bailey," Cody said, beset by the clamor of nerves that always attacked him whenever Bailey happened to be in his line of vision. Had she gotten even prettier since he'd last seen her in Social Studies? As he pondered the question, his tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth and Zack looked on in bemusement.

"So, Bailey, what can we do you for?" Zack asked before the silence could veer into awkward territory.

"Oh, um, I was just wondering if you wanted to compare proofs for the geometry assignment, Cody," said the brunette.

Were her cheeks turning pink? Heat rose to Cody's face. Had she noticed?

Bailey smiled expectantly at him.

Whoooosh. Cody's resentment flew out the porthole like a bird fleeing its cage, but his tongue remained stubbornly glued in place.

Zack couldn't take it any longer. "Well, it looks like you two nerds have a lot of studying to do," he said and slinging his arms around their shoulders, steered them both to the door. It was least he could do for his brother. Besides, once he became a best-selling zombie author, the babes would be crawling all over him, craving his sexy, sexy brain.

Out in the hall, the epiphany hit Cody like a boulder-sized meteor. This could be it, a chance to break out of the friend zone, to leave behind the realms of Internet fantasy and orchestrate a real-live version of "True Love on Deck."

It took him only a few seconds to grab his geometry textbooks from his cabin and rush back out to where Bailey stood waiting.

"What's new ?" he asked, his best attempt at confident cool as he opened the hallway door for her.

Bailey bestowed a knee-weakening smile upon him. "I've been totally into watching _Breaker High_. My sister sent me a bunch of DVDs she burned off the TV. So many memories of rushing home after school to catch reruns and see what would happen next with Sean and Tamira. Oh, how I loved them." She clasped her hands together over her heart and let out a blissful sigh. Her face glowed with nostalgia. "Did you ever watch it, Cody?"

Cody didn't miss a beat.

"Nope," he said. "Never heard of it."

_**Breaker High**_** was a teen comedy-drama series that ran from 1997 to 1998, airing on UPN. It focused on the adventures of students at a high school located on a cruise ship. Leading man and wannabe casanova Sean Stanley Hanlon, played by a very young (and very cute) Ryan Gosling, eventually won the affections of quirky small-town sweetheart Tamira Goldstein. Denise Williams, the academic overachiever, spent most of the series studying. **

**Thank you again for reading. Reviews make a writer smile :-)**


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